love destroyed you
by graceviolets
Summary: One second she's there, so close that he can feel her heartbeat against his chest. The next, she's dead. But he doesn't know that yet.


One second she's there, so close that he can feel her heartbeat against his chest. The next, she's dead. But he doesn't know that yet.

…

"Don't meddle, Gracie" he begs her.

"I'm not _meddling_, Richard."

He grasps her hand.

"Just leave it, yeah?"

"I'll be back" she promises and runs off.

He shakes her head, irritated by her constant involvement in everything. She can't help it, of course, it's just who she is. She can't be completely happy if everyone else isn't as well. No one can feel the edge of fight or a disagreement more than she can. She has to fix everything, always. It drives him nuts most of the time.

"If you're not back in five, I'll marry someone else" he calls after her.

She turns her head and extends her tongue.

"You'd better not!"

…

She doesn't come back in five minutes. He has time to drink more and sober up again. He suddenly feels cold even though the African sun is blazing down in his pale skin. Where is she? He scans the beach, looking for her, looking for anyone who looks like her. He comes up blank. The cold spreads from his skin to the pit of his stomach. Where is she?

…

He waits for a long time. Long enough for the band to stop playing and most of people wonder off to other things. He can't find anyone. Where is Grace? Where is Alo? Where is _anyone? _At last he finds Nick, who has passed out in the sand with his hands in his pants. Rich kicks him in the ribs but Nick doesn't even react. _Where's Grace?_

"Nick" he tries again. "Nick, wake the fuck up."

The sun has set and Rich drapes his arms around himself. He feels on edge, nervous, maybe scared.

"What?" Nick finally mumbles.

"Where the fuck is everyone?"  
>"I don't know."<p>

Rich sighs and pulls him to his feet.

"It's dark" Nick cleverly points out.

"Yeah" Rich says. "Yeah, I know."

…

Alo and Mini appear out of thin air.

"Can we go home now?" Mini whines.

"No" Rich snaps. "Where's Grace?"

"Probably with Liv" Alo says. "We should go home, maybe they already left. The car is gone."

"We have to walk?" Mini moans.

Rich wants to slap her.

"They wouldn't have left us here."

"They might have" Nick argues.

"No."

"Matty and Liv are…"

"Matty and Liv are irrelevant. Grace would never have left without us."

Silence fall. They all know it's true.

"Have you tried calling her?" Mini asks, her voice softer now.

"A hundred times."

The beach is nearly empty now. The sea is rough and loud. Rich shivers again.

"Where the fuck is she?" he says to no one.

And no one answers.

…

They huddle together in the sand for hours. Rich's phone dies, he panics about if for about three hours before Nick lets him put his SIM-card in his phone. No one calls. Not Liv or Franky or Matty. Or Grace.

"We should go home" Mini says when the suns rises in the horizon. "They're not coming."

"It will take forever to walk" Alo mumbles.

"Better get started then."

They walk on the dusty road in what they think is the right direction. The morning grows hotter and hotter but Rich stills feels cold.

"They're probably in the pool" Alo says. "Worrying about us."

Rich nods but doesn't believe it. Grace would have called.

"Is this the right way?" Mini asks after what feels like forever.

"Who knows?" Nick answers her. "We're lost."

…

They reach the house when the sun is at its highest. It's empty. The pool is empty. The rooms are empty. Not a sound. Not a movement.

"They're not here" Nick says.

They all stand still, watching their temporally home and breathe in in unison. No one speaks because no one knows what to say.

"Should we call the police?" Alo asks.

"Do you have the number to Moroccan police, Farmboy?" Mini spits at him.

"They'll come back" Nick mumbles.

Rich can't even open his mouth. He hears Mini and Alo bicker like they're standing a mile away. A trickle of sweat drips down his forehead. _Where is she?_

…

It's almost dark when they hear a car. Rich feels a flicker of hope, despite everything. The car's headlights spread a yellowish light over the abandoned house. The door opens. It's Liv. He sees it and almost caves over in disappointment.

"Liv!" Mini calls.

She approaches them, limping heavily on her left foot. Her shirts is torn, her hair is ruffled.

"You need to come" she whispers.

"What happened?" Nick asks.

Rich doesn't say anything. He can see blood on Liv's sweater. She doesn't have any cuts or bruises. It's someone else's blood.

"There's a man, a guy, he'll drive us" Liv rambles.

Her face is white, her eyes are red.

"Drive us where?"

Liv catches her breathe.

"The hospital" Rich says.

He doesn't know how but he knows that's where they're going. He follows Liv back to the old, rusty car. The man in the front seat looks nice enough.

"What happened?" Mini asks quietly.

Liv doesn't respond.

…

More wait. The waiting room is crowded and hot and cold at the same time. No one speaks English. Grace was the best at French but she's not here.

"We… Matty… crashed the car" Liv murmurs.

"Why didn't you call us?" Mini demands.

He can see it her face now, she's terrified, just as terrified as Rich is feeling. It might be the first time he ever felt like he could relate to her.

"My phone got smashed."

"What about Matty's?" Nick asks. "Where is he?"  
>Liv looks away.<p>

"I don't know. He left."

Rich doesn't say anything. None of this matters now, not really. He doesn't give a shit about Matty or phones or broken down cars. He just wants someone to tell him Grace is okay. That's she's chatting to some nurse about brunch or _Eastenders_.

"Some guy saw the accident and stopped. He drove us here. I didn't have a phone. No one understands me here" Liv whispers frantically.

He wants to pat her shoulder and tell that it doesn't matter now. None of it matters now. But he can't even move.

"What happened to her?" Alo finally asks. "Did she break something? Did she scream?"

It takes Liv a whole minute to prepare herself to answer.

"She didn't move. She didn't scream or cry. She was just… quiet."

…

Mini has fallen asleep, her head on Alo's shoulder. Nick has gone off somewhere to smoke. Liv cries silently into her hands. Rich watches her.

"I'm sorry" she whispers.

"For what?"

"I don't know."

"Don't apologize then."

He hates himself for being hard, he hates the edge in his voice, he hates everything. He starts to pace the room. Liv watches him.

"Is she dead?" he asks, too loudly.

"I don't kn…"

"Did she move? Did she breathe?"

He stares at her face, at her clamped hands, at her shivering form.

"No" she answers, almost calmly. "No, she didn't."

He bangs one hand into the wall and clutches his face with the other.

"She said she'd come back" he whispers to no one.

…'

The stone hard and wet and cold. Everything Grace wasn't. He touches the edges, all so blunt that they almost cut his finger.

"I should have been in that car with her" he says.

"And died?" Liv asks.

Her voice is faint, almost thin in the cold wind. She doesn't dare touch the head stone, she doesn't understand that's it's just a rock. Nothing else. The fucking stone has nothing to do with Grace. It's just some expensive landmark.

"I should have been there" he repeats.

"Rich, I have nightmares about the crash, of her screaming, of the wheels screeching. How can you want that?"

Dead flowers cover the bottom of the stone. A candle is there too. And a small doll.

"At least you can sleep."

He rests his head against the wetness of the stone. He has a headache. He always has a headache.

"Grace wouldn't have wanted you to be there" she whispers.

He swallows and clamps his eyes so tight that he sees red.

"It doesn't matter what she'd had wanted" he mumbles. "She's dead, remember?"

Liv doesn't answer. He can't really blame her.

…

He watches them all like he's watching a movie. Nick fights for Franky. Matty fights Nick for Franky. Liv fights her feelings for Alex. Mini fights with everyone. He can't understand how it still matters. How fast they moved on. His life is on hold, waiting for something, for someone. Every minute ticks by but the world stays the same.

"It'll work out" he tells Alo over and over when he moans about Mini.

Because it will be. A fight can always be solved. The only thing that can't be fixed is death.

"You will get over Alex" he tells Liv.

"I won't" she replies.

He shakes his head. Yes, she will. The only thing you can't get over is death.

"She'll figure it out" he comforts Nick.

Because yes, the only thing that is impossible to figure out is death.

"You'll be okay too" they all tell him. "Sooner or later."

He nods and says yes, but they all know he's lying. He will never be okay.

…

"I should have been in the car with her" he repeats like a mantra.

"And died?" Liv asks.

"I don't like me without her."

"We do" Nick smiles. "We like you even though she's not here anymore."

"You won't do anything stupid, will you?" Alo mumbles.

Rich shrugs because he doesn't really know.

"She wouldn't have wante…"

He almost slaps Mini's face.

"You don't know what she wanted" he snaps at her. "Because she's not here!"

They all fall silent. Rich touches the rough stone that is all of Grace he has left. Her name and date and some pointless words on a rock.

"Let's look on the bright side" Nick says. "It can't get worse than this, eh?"

Rich actually smiles. He fumbles in his pocket and pulls out a cigarette.

"You're right" he agrees. "It can't get any fucking worse."


End file.
